Kindergarten

Of my 7 children, 5 attended Kindergarten.
It is interesting how we adults foster a child's excitement to go to kindergarten. Any time an adult speaks to a small child, their first question is, "How old are you?" and the second question always is related to school. For instance, "What grade are you in?" and "Do you like your teacher?".
The five year old's question is, "Are you in Kindergarten?" and if not then we ask, "Are you excited for kindergarten?". Can you recognize the wonder and excitement in the adult's voice as they ask that question about Kindergarten?
The child has probably never seen kindergarten and knows nothing of it, but if they are asking the question like that, I must be.
If the child did not go to preschool, this would be the first time that Mom makes such a big "to do" about preparing for something other than vacation. She spends at least the month before school starts buying back packs and special clothes, and the week before going to bed early in preparation for this special event. Even Birthdays don't get this much attention.
On the first day of school, Mom helps the child get ready for school. All the time, the talk is about how much fun it is going to be. And when we arrive, we see a classroom filled with child size things and lots of colors and many potential friends. That is unless the child has had little experience with others his age, in which case the other children can seem like potential competition or potential bullies etc.
Mom may be truely excited to get some time away from this child who has been her constant companion for 5 years, or she may feel sad to leave one of her best friends who has so much shared history. Either way, she has been assured that this is the best place for her little one.
Once Mom is gone, it is time for the learning to begin. What do they learn? They learn to wait their turn. Raise their hand. Don't bother others. Wait in line. If you need something, ask to see if you can have it. Be quiet. I think the biggest thing my children learned in Kindergarten was that they could get along without Mom, at least for a while.
They are already supposed to know their alphabet, how to write and cut and color, and how to read at least some words. The real learning is to find out how much you know or don't know compared to the kids around you and who you can depend on to tell you things you don't know. And we have "show and tell" so we can compare what other kids our age have and do that we don't have or do.
I still have kind feelings for Hailee, the new best friend my Emily found when she went to kindergarten 15 years ago. Emily would get a paper handed out, and look at it and ask Hailee what to do with it. Hailee would give her all the instructions. I am not sure Emily learned anything in Kindergarten except from Hailee. And I give thanks for the many unnamed children who's parents taught them to be compassionate to other children who were hurting.
Oh, and that other important person at kindergarten. That teacher! She was so pretty and with such a happy face, or she was a grandma who had perspective about how special children are, or the young mother who really did love children..... Except for the teacher who was there just to get the last few years in before retirement. Or the one who got put there because she wasn't very good teaching the important subjects in the higher grades. And if she is grumpy, we Moms tell our children that they must take it with a grain of salt, or forgive them, or just realize that they just have a loud voice, and keep going. Talk about instruction on how to "turn the other cheek".
I love the real meaning of the word Kindergarten: a garden of children. But, as JP pointed out, the garden that school creates is a formal English garden with everything all in an ordered row. I love the French garden that encourages things to grow where they are planted. A garden where the beauty of things is highlighted by it's contrast to other things around it. By putting the children of the same age together, we instead compare who is tallest, who is shortest, who is best at sports, who is best at math, who is best at coloring. We never try to compare a tree to a bush or a flower and notice that the tree is taller.
I find joy in my garden of children, watching my 17 year old son play with my 8 year old son. I don't compare their ablilities. I realize how much more potential for learning my 8 year old has in watching his 17 year old brother than he has in emulating 25 other 8 year olds. And I know that when my 17 year old becomes a father, he will know so much more about children than his counterparts who attended 15 years of school with people of their same age. He will also have had so much more practice at being kind to others who may not be his equal.