Set your Intention

I went to Yoga today. At the end of the class, the teacher suggested that we set our intentions for the day or week. Often at the beginning of yoga practice they suggest that we set our intention for the practice. Since today, she said it at the end of the class, I have given it more thought.
What are intentions? They are different than goals, but similar. Often, it is said, having to do with goals, "Shoot for the stars and if you miss, you may end up on the moon." Implying that the moon might be a pretty good place to be since it is still higher than where we currently are. I see intentions as different than goals. With a goal, you take aim at the beginning, put in some power and see where you end up. With intentions, you start off the same way, but as you take stock along the way, you may change directions and add more power so that you don't stop until you finally get to where you intended to go.

Examples of intentions:

When Julianna needed to wear a white top and black bottom to the band concert, and she didn't have a white shirt that she cared to wear, we set our intention to get her a white shirt she would want to wear to the band concert. When we left the house, we set a goal to go to a certain store and get a white shirt. When we got there and learned that they didn't have a white shirt she really wanted to wear, we could say that we landed on the moon (they did have white shirts, just not ones she cared to wear). However, we continued on to meet our intention. We went to another store. We did find a white top she loved to wear. While our goal was not to spend too much on the top for the band concert, the intention was to get one that she wanted to wear before the band concert that night. We had to put more money toward it than we first thought, but we met our intention. If we had tried to wait until the shirt went on sale, she would not have had it for the band concert, and we would have missed our intention.

Whenever you get into the shower, you set your intentions. If you just finished lacrosse practice and you need to be at a Solo & Ensemble performance in less than 30 minutes, you set your intentions, and you will not run out of hot water. If you have just been skiing and dinner won't be ready for 45 minutes, you might.

When Julianna asked to have her hair cut, I carefully checked out her intentions. Do you want it shorter so it will dry faster, or so it is not so heavy? Do you want to donate the hair to Locks of Love? Will you want it to go into a ponytail? Do you want to wear it curly or straight? She wanted to donate it, cut it now, and have it long enough to go into a pony tail. There wasn't much difference in the minimum length to get it into a ponytail, and the amount that had to be cut off so she could donate the hair. We carefully planned and placed her hair into small ponytails and examined it and tried pulling it back toward a ponytail, before we ever cut any hair. Due to my lack of hair cutting expertise, I ended up cutting her hair intermittantly for almost 6 hours. While I was sorry that she had to sit through that, I didn't stop until I felt we had met her intentions. And I promised that if I was wrong and we actually hadn't met her intentions, we would come back and adjust the cut more later if necessary.

So, we set our intentions daily and even hourly. But we also can set intentions for the week and the year or maybe even more. I identified 3 intentions that Rick and I set for this year. 1. Feed the Lean in our bodies. 2. Become more strong and healthy. 3. Provide a stable home for the children to come to and go away from. Sort of like a safety net, but probably more like a good landing strip and launching pad. Something consistent that they could count on.

I think it is valuable to identify our intentions before we begin something. We can do nearly the same thing with different intentions so we must fine tune our actions to get to the exact intentions. When Julianna signed up for Junior High Band class, it was important to identify her (and our) intentions. Was she doing it for a nice social outlet with her peers? Did she want to learn to play the clarinet? Or did she learn the clarinet so she could learn to play Jazz Saxophone? Or was she trying to learn as many instruments as possible (violin, piano, clarinet, bass clarinet, saxophone, flute etc.) Was she trying to become known? Did she want to be liked by the teacher, or the kids?
Sometimes, we might think that the action of playing in the band is the goal and the intentions seem like ulterior motives. But actually, the intention is the bulls eye of the goal and if the intentions are not met, we only came close to success.
At Yoga class, you may go through the same motions as every other person in the class, but one person's intention may be to increase flexability, while another's is to strengthen the core, and a third person's intention may be looking for balance.
We may make cookies to impress someone, to tell someone that we care for them, to indulge our craving, to trick our kids into eating something healthy (like zuchinni) or to spend some pleasant time with the kids. Our intention would help us determine what kind of cookie to make.

Now I see how important it is to identify our intentions, so that we can really truly succeed in our efforts. Sometimes, we may feel guilty thinking that our intentions are not noble. But to honestly admit our intentions, we will more likely meet our deepest needs.

The Mothers in My Life (and What they Taught me)

My definition of a Mother is someone who loves you, teaches you, and helps you grow.

My Mother. Mother of 5 . Practiced on 4 before she got to me.
---She gave me space to grow and approval.
My older Sister. Apprentice mother. Nearly 12 years older and getting her experience with me.
---She taught me to schedule my time and my work.
Margene Knowlton. My Music Mother. My children's Music Grandmother.
---She said, "No one needs a music lesson more than someone who hasn't practiced this week."
---She knew that, "If you don't quit, you will eventually become a musician."
---I should have learned to practice at the same time every day.
My Young Women Leaders. Women with experience and Grace.
---They taught me that someone who was not in my family could love me.
---They showed me the beautiful variety in women.
Josephine Holbrook. Owner of Brooks Fabrics, my first real employer.
---She said she was "mean"....but she really wasn't.
---Because of her, I majored in Fashion Merchandising in College.
Marie Hafen. Mother of 7 young children... and of Ricks College.
---I learned, "If at first you don't succeed, Get some help."
---She taught me how to clean a house.
---I should have learned how to assign Saturday's work to the children.
Shara-Dee Seiter. Mother of 10 children (all older than mine)... and a ward.
---She taught me that it is possible to be a mother to a large family.
LaNae Knudsen. No older than me, but knowledgable about homemaking....And a friend.
---She showed me how to Bake Bread. (She tried to teach me to make freezer jam and frozen corn)
---She took me to Homemaking night every month.

I can't help but note the lack of a Grandmother listed here. One of my grandmothers died before I was born. The other lived until after my first daughter was born but she didn't live near me. I often wondered, when I called her, if she would know who was calling.

My life for the past 15 years has been amazingly void of new mothers. Maybe that would explain my empty,"homesick" feeling.
It's not that I haven't been looking for mothers. I looked anywhere I could find a group of older women with more experience than I have. I looked in the Utah Symphony Youth Guild Board, and the South Davis Garden Club. I have found wonderfully capable women who know a lot. But with encounters only an hour or two once a month, where other business is going on, a mothering relationship has not grown.

Who are some of your mothers? Have you told them thanks and that you love them?