The people in our lives seem to fit into these three categories. There are also those who we don't like at all (our enemies) we stay away from and therefore they are not in our lives.
Family: The people who have to accept us, and should love us. They consist of the people who we live with and the collection of people who we used to live with and others who the people who live with us now used to live with. We have no influence on who is family. We often don't even have much in common with our family. Why is that? What we have with family is "History".
Associates: Usually the people who work with us or go to school and church with us. We have a little influence on who our associates are, because we can choose where we work and live, and they have made similar choices. Making similar choices displays that we have some things in common with our associates. But, like our family, our association is not by direct choice, only circumstance.
Friends: A friend does not become a friend unless either we or they make a choice to become a friend.
How do we make friends? We must show interest in an acquaintance for them to become a friend. We must choose to go and talk to them or call them on the phone. We must do it repeatedly for the friendship to grow. We must share ourselves honestly. We must care enough to remember them and the things they have shared with us.
Some people make friends instinctively. Some people feel lost without a friend.
My life has been blessed by a few friends. I have to admit that it was because they made the choice to be a good friend. Making a new friend is not one of my talents. In elementary school, Lisa T. was my best friend. She always called me to see if I could play. I had a group of good friends in Junior high and high school. They included Debbie B. and Yvonne D. I haven't done what I should to maintain these friendships, but when, after many years, I have had a chance to talk to them, I know that they are still true friends.
In Arizona, Lanae K. was my friend. She did the work necessary to build a friendship. She taught me to bake bread and make freezer jam and frozen corn. But mostly she set an example of how to be a good friend. Even now, she remembers my birthday and contacts me. Now Judy W. is the one who calls me and shares her life with me.
I saw this saying on the bottom of an e-mail:
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
It made me think of my friends. I realized that even though I do not do my part in
building or maintaining a friendship, they are still a very important part of my life.
Thanks for being a friend to me even though I'm not easy to be friends with.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The History of Exercise in My Life
Exercise is such an unfamiliar thing in my life.
In Elementary school, PE was exercise. I didn't like it. It was usually playing ball and was competitive and I could never keep track of the ball, and I could never run fast enough to win. Exercise represented frustration.
I did ride my bike on the street in front of my house. Sometimes, to add interest to the endless circles in front of the 3 adjacent houses where the road was flat, I would put small rocks on the road and try to weave the front and back tire on either side of the rock. It was an interesting skill much more than it challenged my cardiovascular system.
In Junior high, exercise was also represented by PE and I didn't like it. It was the dumb matching jumpsuits that the girls had to wear and the silly socks and the shoes that could only be used for PE. It was the idea that you had to shower off after class was done, when there was not enough time to. in public showers, when you hadn't even broken a sweat. It was standing in line at the beginning of class and shouting out "your number" (because that was all you were), to prove that you were there. And annoincing to your class mates when you had washed your dumb PE clothes.
In High school, I didn't have to take PE. I figured out how to get Marching in the Flag Corps with the Marching Band to count as PE credit. Thank goodness for no PE and no exercise I thought. I do remember my friend, Debbie, talking about stretching and sitting up on your "sit bones" (I had never heard or thought about those before).
In college, I bought my first pair of athletic shoes. For the first time, I found something that felt comfortable and I thought looked OK. But then I wanted to keep them nice. If I wore them outside, the soles would get rocks in them and get all dirty and then I couldn't wear them in the gym. So although they were comfortable, they were mostly useless. Once, I came home from college and Rick invited me to go play racquetball with him. I had never played racquetball. I didn't know what it would be like. I already knew that I couldn't keep track of balls flying through the air. I already knew that I didn't like to go places I had never been before (fear of the unknown). I also had never owned any exercise clothing. Never a pair of athletic shorts and if I had already bought the athletic shoes, they were up at college so I had nothing to wear. I couldn't go naked and I couldn't wear school clothes so I just couln't go. As he tried to encourage me to come, I resisted more and more until I was hiding behind a chair on the patio saying, "NO! I won't go!"
I fulfilled my dollege PE credit requirement by taking Israeli folk dancing when I was on study abroad, and maybe there was some credit given for all the hiking field trips that we took to all the ruins of old cities. I was glad I had successfully got out of exercising.
I once thought of walking for exercise in the early mornings in Arizona. I may have done it a half a dozen times. It was particularly hard because I decided to do it at an ungodly early hour before anyone else was up.
The only exercise I helped my kids get in Arizona was taking them to swimming lessons in the summer. That was more about learning to swim than about exercise. They may have gone to play at the park sometimes, but usually with a friend instead of with me.
When we moved to Utah, exercise became more a part of our lives. But I think I was thinking about developing the kids skills more than exercise. We (the kids) tried soccer. Marie tried one season, but she just couldn't run. She had never tried running for the first 10 years of her life. I think that you enjoy doing things that you started doing when you are young. Your body is just good at learning how to do new things when you are young. The other kids liked soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, and biking and I would go and watch.
When Marie was in high school, she courageously tried to run cross country. It was painful for me to watch her run and come in last. But I was so impressed by the whole team cheering her on as she finished her last lap. That was my first experience with the good that can come from being part of a team.
When Emily was in high school, she told me about her yoga class. She and Marie seemed to like it. She talked about "mindfulness". Now that sounded like something for me. Marie and Emily and Rick had all done quite a bit of yoga before I ever tried it.
I like yoga. There is no special clothing that is "right". I don't have to put on shorts and show my legs etc. I get to do it bare foot. Shoes have never suited me.
There are no balls to keep track of. Not only that, I am encouraged to do it with my eyes closed if I want to. I am encouraged to listen to my body and do what seems right for me. I think it is the ideal exercise because it gets my body moving strengthens my muscles and helps my flexibility. But the best thing about yoga for me is that there is No Competition.
Now, I am beginning to understand that exercise is any of the physical things that we do to help us feel good. When I try to run or do things that are too hard for me, I am punishing my body and I don't feel good. I hurt. And it is all in the name of keeping up.
I am supportive of anyone doing any physical activities that help them feel good. I realize that the reason people like to play sports is because it is fun for them and it helps them to feel good besides.
In Elementary school, PE was exercise. I didn't like it. It was usually playing ball and was competitive and I could never keep track of the ball, and I could never run fast enough to win. Exercise represented frustration.
I did ride my bike on the street in front of my house. Sometimes, to add interest to the endless circles in front of the 3 adjacent houses where the road was flat, I would put small rocks on the road and try to weave the front and back tire on either side of the rock. It was an interesting skill much more than it challenged my cardiovascular system.
In Junior high, exercise was also represented by PE and I didn't like it. It was the dumb matching jumpsuits that the girls had to wear and the silly socks and the shoes that could only be used for PE. It was the idea that you had to shower off after class was done, when there was not enough time to. in public showers, when you hadn't even broken a sweat. It was standing in line at the beginning of class and shouting out "your number" (because that was all you were), to prove that you were there. And annoincing to your class mates when you had washed your dumb PE clothes.
In High school, I didn't have to take PE. I figured out how to get Marching in the Flag Corps with the Marching Band to count as PE credit. Thank goodness for no PE and no exercise I thought. I do remember my friend, Debbie, talking about stretching and sitting up on your "sit bones" (I had never heard or thought about those before).
In college, I bought my first pair of athletic shoes. For the first time, I found something that felt comfortable and I thought looked OK. But then I wanted to keep them nice. If I wore them outside, the soles would get rocks in them and get all dirty and then I couldn't wear them in the gym. So although they were comfortable, they were mostly useless. Once, I came home from college and Rick invited me to go play racquetball with him. I had never played racquetball. I didn't know what it would be like. I already knew that I couldn't keep track of balls flying through the air. I already knew that I didn't like to go places I had never been before (fear of the unknown). I also had never owned any exercise clothing. Never a pair of athletic shorts and if I had already bought the athletic shoes, they were up at college so I had nothing to wear. I couldn't go naked and I couldn't wear school clothes so I just couln't go. As he tried to encourage me to come, I resisted more and more until I was hiding behind a chair on the patio saying, "NO! I won't go!"
I fulfilled my dollege PE credit requirement by taking Israeli folk dancing when I was on study abroad, and maybe there was some credit given for all the hiking field trips that we took to all the ruins of old cities. I was glad I had successfully got out of exercising.
I once thought of walking for exercise in the early mornings in Arizona. I may have done it a half a dozen times. It was particularly hard because I decided to do it at an ungodly early hour before anyone else was up.
The only exercise I helped my kids get in Arizona was taking them to swimming lessons in the summer. That was more about learning to swim than about exercise. They may have gone to play at the park sometimes, but usually with a friend instead of with me.
When we moved to Utah, exercise became more a part of our lives. But I think I was thinking about developing the kids skills more than exercise. We (the kids) tried soccer. Marie tried one season, but she just couldn't run. She had never tried running for the first 10 years of her life. I think that you enjoy doing things that you started doing when you are young. Your body is just good at learning how to do new things when you are young. The other kids liked soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, and biking and I would go and watch.
When Marie was in high school, she courageously tried to run cross country. It was painful for me to watch her run and come in last. But I was so impressed by the whole team cheering her on as she finished her last lap. That was my first experience with the good that can come from being part of a team.
When Emily was in high school, she told me about her yoga class. She and Marie seemed to like it. She talked about "mindfulness". Now that sounded like something for me. Marie and Emily and Rick had all done quite a bit of yoga before I ever tried it.
I like yoga. There is no special clothing that is "right". I don't have to put on shorts and show my legs etc. I get to do it bare foot. Shoes have never suited me.
There are no balls to keep track of. Not only that, I am encouraged to do it with my eyes closed if I want to. I am encouraged to listen to my body and do what seems right for me. I think it is the ideal exercise because it gets my body moving strengthens my muscles and helps my flexibility. But the best thing about yoga for me is that there is No Competition.
Now, I am beginning to understand that exercise is any of the physical things that we do to help us feel good. When I try to run or do things that are too hard for me, I am punishing my body and I don't feel good. I hurt. And it is all in the name of keeping up.
I am supportive of anyone doing any physical activities that help them feel good. I realize that the reason people like to play sports is because it is fun for them and it helps them to feel good besides.
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