I have heard a somewhat similar comment in both of our missionary's letters about the new elders who have just arrived at the MTC looking so young and by the time they leave looking much older.
That comment reminded me of a book called, “The Velveteen Rabbit”. You may remember watching a video of it when you were young, or not.
The velveteen rabbit, over time, got a “knowing look about him”. You both have noticed that “knowing look” in the missionaries after spending some time in the MTC..
I looked for a quote about the knowing look, and found this quote from the book:
From "the Velveteen Rabbit"
By Margery Williams
"The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
After reading the quote from the book, I could imagine the Nursery as being either the MTC or the whole Mission experience, or even the journey of life.
The child loving you or becoming Real, could be compared to being a missionary or “being a tool in God's hands”
If the skin horse really is wise and always tells the truth, then we can believe what he says: becoming Real “doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept”. Also, he says, “It doesn't happen all at once” “You become. It takes a long time.”
I am glad that you both have decided to give the time it takes to serve a mission. I know that you will bless other peoples lives but you will also be blessed. (You are already becoming Real as God wants you to be).
Monday, August 24, 2009
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Cost of Ownership
I think there are three different costs associated with ownership.
The first is the cost of purchase. This includes not only the dollar cost of the item, but also the cost of time to find the item and also the cost of transportation to go get the item and to bring it back home.
The second is the cost of storage. If it is a big item, you may need to rent a place to keep it (like a boat). But even if it is a small item that goes in your house, there are still costs involved. Each bit of space in your house has value and can only be filled once. If the space is filled with one thing, it cannot hold something else. So there are opportunity costs involved in keeping things inside your house.
The third is the cost of using an item. The cost of using an item has two components. The pleasure of using something to meet our needs: Pleasure comes from how well (beautifully) our needs are met. And deducted from that pleasure is the cost to care for the item. Items are designed to be easy to care for (wash and wear clothes) so that the cost to care for an item does not cause a significant reduction to the pleasuure of using the item. Hopefully, the balance between the positive cost to use and the negative cost to care for yields a positive result which, over time, balances out the costs of purchase and storage before the item wears out or looses its usefullness.
Sadly, there are times when we make a mistake in our purchases and buy something that is too small or in some other way does not meet our needs. Sometimes, we purchase something with a low purchase price because we are unsure of how well it will meet our needs. However, it still has the same cost to find, store and maintain. And sometimes, the purchase price is less because the maintence costs are high.
Or possibly our needs or tastes change. In that case, maybe it is no longer pleasant to use an item. Admitting that you no longer find joy in using an item is the first step to making space for an item you may find more joy in using.
I have noticed that sometimes people do not take ownership of their stuff. They do not take care of it. They act like it is not theirs. I believe this is more likely to happen if they were not involved in paying the other costs. If they did not pick out the item, or pay for it, and worse, if the item does not fit or bring pleasure in it's use, they never take ownership of it. This happens alot with gifts. Either the gift is not accepted (or is returned) or it lays around and no one does anything with it.
I think we should analyze the cost of owning our stuff. Too often the stuff that is put away in our closets and storage sheds has a negative balance. Maybe we seldom use the items (so there is a low positive cost of use) and they are taking valuable space that could be filled with the stuff that meets our needs. Or, maybe we keep something that has a low positive cost of use (becasue it is wearing out) simply to avoid incuring additional purchasing costs (including the time necessary to find just the right item to replace the old item).
The best thing to do with an item that is not worth the costs of ownership is to get rid of it. If it is truely worn out, then we can put it in the trash (but remember, there is also a cost to dispose of something). Otherwise, if something is still useful, then we should make it available to someone who will cover the costs of using it. But probably not as a gift unless they are willing to pay some of the the purchasing costs through either money or effort.
The first is the cost of purchase. This includes not only the dollar cost of the item, but also the cost of time to find the item and also the cost of transportation to go get the item and to bring it back home.
The second is the cost of storage. If it is a big item, you may need to rent a place to keep it (like a boat). But even if it is a small item that goes in your house, there are still costs involved. Each bit of space in your house has value and can only be filled once. If the space is filled with one thing, it cannot hold something else. So there are opportunity costs involved in keeping things inside your house.
The third is the cost of using an item. The cost of using an item has two components. The pleasure of using something to meet our needs: Pleasure comes from how well (beautifully) our needs are met. And deducted from that pleasure is the cost to care for the item. Items are designed to be easy to care for (wash and wear clothes) so that the cost to care for an item does not cause a significant reduction to the pleasuure of using the item. Hopefully, the balance between the positive cost to use and the negative cost to care for yields a positive result which, over time, balances out the costs of purchase and storage before the item wears out or looses its usefullness.
Sadly, there are times when we make a mistake in our purchases and buy something that is too small or in some other way does not meet our needs. Sometimes, we purchase something with a low purchase price because we are unsure of how well it will meet our needs. However, it still has the same cost to find, store and maintain. And sometimes, the purchase price is less because the maintence costs are high.
Or possibly our needs or tastes change. In that case, maybe it is no longer pleasant to use an item. Admitting that you no longer find joy in using an item is the first step to making space for an item you may find more joy in using.
I have noticed that sometimes people do not take ownership of their stuff. They do not take care of it. They act like it is not theirs. I believe this is more likely to happen if they were not involved in paying the other costs. If they did not pick out the item, or pay for it, and worse, if the item does not fit or bring pleasure in it's use, they never take ownership of it. This happens alot with gifts. Either the gift is not accepted (or is returned) or it lays around and no one does anything with it.
I think we should analyze the cost of owning our stuff. Too often the stuff that is put away in our closets and storage sheds has a negative balance. Maybe we seldom use the items (so there is a low positive cost of use) and they are taking valuable space that could be filled with the stuff that meets our needs. Or, maybe we keep something that has a low positive cost of use (becasue it is wearing out) simply to avoid incuring additional purchasing costs (including the time necessary to find just the right item to replace the old item).
The best thing to do with an item that is not worth the costs of ownership is to get rid of it. If it is truely worn out, then we can put it in the trash (but remember, there is also a cost to dispose of something). Otherwise, if something is still useful, then we should make it available to someone who will cover the costs of using it. But probably not as a gift unless they are willing to pay some of the the purchasing costs through either money or effort.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Family, Friends and Associates
The people in our lives seem to fit into these three categories. There are also those who we don't like at all (our enemies) we stay away from and therefore they are not in our lives.
Family: The people who have to accept us, and should love us. They consist of the people who we live with and the collection of people who we used to live with and others who the people who live with us now used to live with. We have no influence on who is family. We often don't even have much in common with our family. Why is that? What we have with family is "History".
Associates: Usually the people who work with us or go to school and church with us. We have a little influence on who our associates are, because we can choose where we work and live, and they have made similar choices. Making similar choices displays that we have some things in common with our associates. But, like our family, our association is not by direct choice, only circumstance.
Friends: A friend does not become a friend unless either we or they make a choice to become a friend.
How do we make friends? We must show interest in an acquaintance for them to become a friend. We must choose to go and talk to them or call them on the phone. We must do it repeatedly for the friendship to grow. We must share ourselves honestly. We must care enough to remember them and the things they have shared with us.
Some people make friends instinctively. Some people feel lost without a friend.
My life has been blessed by a few friends. I have to admit that it was because they made the choice to be a good friend. Making a new friend is not one of my talents. In elementary school, Lisa T. was my best friend. She always called me to see if I could play. I had a group of good friends in Junior high and high school. They included Debbie B. and Yvonne D. I haven't done what I should to maintain these friendships, but when, after many years, I have had a chance to talk to them, I know that they are still true friends.
In Arizona, Lanae K. was my friend. She did the work necessary to build a friendship. She taught me to bake bread and make freezer jam and frozen corn. But mostly she set an example of how to be a good friend. Even now, she remembers my birthday and contacts me. Now Judy W. is the one who calls me and shares her life with me.
I saw this saying on the bottom of an e-mail:
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
It made me think of my friends. I realized that even though I do not do my part in
building or maintaining a friendship, they are still a very important part of my life.
Thanks for being a friend to me even though I'm not easy to be friends with.
Family: The people who have to accept us, and should love us. They consist of the people who we live with and the collection of people who we used to live with and others who the people who live with us now used to live with. We have no influence on who is family. We often don't even have much in common with our family. Why is that? What we have with family is "History".
Associates: Usually the people who work with us or go to school and church with us. We have a little influence on who our associates are, because we can choose where we work and live, and they have made similar choices. Making similar choices displays that we have some things in common with our associates. But, like our family, our association is not by direct choice, only circumstance.
Friends: A friend does not become a friend unless either we or they make a choice to become a friend.
How do we make friends? We must show interest in an acquaintance for them to become a friend. We must choose to go and talk to them or call them on the phone. We must do it repeatedly for the friendship to grow. We must share ourselves honestly. We must care enough to remember them and the things they have shared with us.
Some people make friends instinctively. Some people feel lost without a friend.
My life has been blessed by a few friends. I have to admit that it was because they made the choice to be a good friend. Making a new friend is not one of my talents. In elementary school, Lisa T. was my best friend. She always called me to see if I could play. I had a group of good friends in Junior high and high school. They included Debbie B. and Yvonne D. I haven't done what I should to maintain these friendships, but when, after many years, I have had a chance to talk to them, I know that they are still true friends.
In Arizona, Lanae K. was my friend. She did the work necessary to build a friendship. She taught me to bake bread and make freezer jam and frozen corn. But mostly she set an example of how to be a good friend. Even now, she remembers my birthday and contacts me. Now Judy W. is the one who calls me and shares her life with me.
I saw this saying on the bottom of an e-mail:
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
It made me think of my friends. I realized that even though I do not do my part in
building or maintaining a friendship, they are still a very important part of my life.
Thanks for being a friend to me even though I'm not easy to be friends with.
The History of Exercise in My Life
Exercise is such an unfamiliar thing in my life.
In Elementary school, PE was exercise. I didn't like it. It was usually playing ball and was competitive and I could never keep track of the ball, and I could never run fast enough to win. Exercise represented frustration.
I did ride my bike on the street in front of my house. Sometimes, to add interest to the endless circles in front of the 3 adjacent houses where the road was flat, I would put small rocks on the road and try to weave the front and back tire on either side of the rock. It was an interesting skill much more than it challenged my cardiovascular system.
In Junior high, exercise was also represented by PE and I didn't like it. It was the dumb matching jumpsuits that the girls had to wear and the silly socks and the shoes that could only be used for PE. It was the idea that you had to shower off after class was done, when there was not enough time to. in public showers, when you hadn't even broken a sweat. It was standing in line at the beginning of class and shouting out "your number" (because that was all you were), to prove that you were there. And annoincing to your class mates when you had washed your dumb PE clothes.
In High school, I didn't have to take PE. I figured out how to get Marching in the Flag Corps with the Marching Band to count as PE credit. Thank goodness for no PE and no exercise I thought. I do remember my friend, Debbie, talking about stretching and sitting up on your "sit bones" (I had never heard or thought about those before).
In college, I bought my first pair of athletic shoes. For the first time, I found something that felt comfortable and I thought looked OK. But then I wanted to keep them nice. If I wore them outside, the soles would get rocks in them and get all dirty and then I couldn't wear them in the gym. So although they were comfortable, they were mostly useless. Once, I came home from college and Rick invited me to go play racquetball with him. I had never played racquetball. I didn't know what it would be like. I already knew that I couldn't keep track of balls flying through the air. I already knew that I didn't like to go places I had never been before (fear of the unknown). I also had never owned any exercise clothing. Never a pair of athletic shorts and if I had already bought the athletic shoes, they were up at college so I had nothing to wear. I couldn't go naked and I couldn't wear school clothes so I just couln't go. As he tried to encourage me to come, I resisted more and more until I was hiding behind a chair on the patio saying, "NO! I won't go!"
I fulfilled my dollege PE credit requirement by taking Israeli folk dancing when I was on study abroad, and maybe there was some credit given for all the hiking field trips that we took to all the ruins of old cities. I was glad I had successfully got out of exercising.
I once thought of walking for exercise in the early mornings in Arizona. I may have done it a half a dozen times. It was particularly hard because I decided to do it at an ungodly early hour before anyone else was up.
The only exercise I helped my kids get in Arizona was taking them to swimming lessons in the summer. That was more about learning to swim than about exercise. They may have gone to play at the park sometimes, but usually with a friend instead of with me.
When we moved to Utah, exercise became more a part of our lives. But I think I was thinking about developing the kids skills more than exercise. We (the kids) tried soccer. Marie tried one season, but she just couldn't run. She had never tried running for the first 10 years of her life. I think that you enjoy doing things that you started doing when you are young. Your body is just good at learning how to do new things when you are young. The other kids liked soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, and biking and I would go and watch.
When Marie was in high school, she courageously tried to run cross country. It was painful for me to watch her run and come in last. But I was so impressed by the whole team cheering her on as she finished her last lap. That was my first experience with the good that can come from being part of a team.
When Emily was in high school, she told me about her yoga class. She and Marie seemed to like it. She talked about "mindfulness". Now that sounded like something for me. Marie and Emily and Rick had all done quite a bit of yoga before I ever tried it.
I like yoga. There is no special clothing that is "right". I don't have to put on shorts and show my legs etc. I get to do it bare foot. Shoes have never suited me.
There are no balls to keep track of. Not only that, I am encouraged to do it with my eyes closed if I want to. I am encouraged to listen to my body and do what seems right for me. I think it is the ideal exercise because it gets my body moving strengthens my muscles and helps my flexibility. But the best thing about yoga for me is that there is No Competition.
Now, I am beginning to understand that exercise is any of the physical things that we do to help us feel good. When I try to run or do things that are too hard for me, I am punishing my body and I don't feel good. I hurt. And it is all in the name of keeping up.
I am supportive of anyone doing any physical activities that help them feel good. I realize that the reason people like to play sports is because it is fun for them and it helps them to feel good besides.
In Elementary school, PE was exercise. I didn't like it. It was usually playing ball and was competitive and I could never keep track of the ball, and I could never run fast enough to win. Exercise represented frustration.
I did ride my bike on the street in front of my house. Sometimes, to add interest to the endless circles in front of the 3 adjacent houses where the road was flat, I would put small rocks on the road and try to weave the front and back tire on either side of the rock. It was an interesting skill much more than it challenged my cardiovascular system.
In Junior high, exercise was also represented by PE and I didn't like it. It was the dumb matching jumpsuits that the girls had to wear and the silly socks and the shoes that could only be used for PE. It was the idea that you had to shower off after class was done, when there was not enough time to. in public showers, when you hadn't even broken a sweat. It was standing in line at the beginning of class and shouting out "your number" (because that was all you were), to prove that you were there. And annoincing to your class mates when you had washed your dumb PE clothes.
In High school, I didn't have to take PE. I figured out how to get Marching in the Flag Corps with the Marching Band to count as PE credit. Thank goodness for no PE and no exercise I thought. I do remember my friend, Debbie, talking about stretching and sitting up on your "sit bones" (I had never heard or thought about those before).
In college, I bought my first pair of athletic shoes. For the first time, I found something that felt comfortable and I thought looked OK. But then I wanted to keep them nice. If I wore them outside, the soles would get rocks in them and get all dirty and then I couldn't wear them in the gym. So although they were comfortable, they were mostly useless. Once, I came home from college and Rick invited me to go play racquetball with him. I had never played racquetball. I didn't know what it would be like. I already knew that I couldn't keep track of balls flying through the air. I already knew that I didn't like to go places I had never been before (fear of the unknown). I also had never owned any exercise clothing. Never a pair of athletic shorts and if I had already bought the athletic shoes, they were up at college so I had nothing to wear. I couldn't go naked and I couldn't wear school clothes so I just couln't go. As he tried to encourage me to come, I resisted more and more until I was hiding behind a chair on the patio saying, "NO! I won't go!"
I fulfilled my dollege PE credit requirement by taking Israeli folk dancing when I was on study abroad, and maybe there was some credit given for all the hiking field trips that we took to all the ruins of old cities. I was glad I had successfully got out of exercising.
I once thought of walking for exercise in the early mornings in Arizona. I may have done it a half a dozen times. It was particularly hard because I decided to do it at an ungodly early hour before anyone else was up.
The only exercise I helped my kids get in Arizona was taking them to swimming lessons in the summer. That was more about learning to swim than about exercise. They may have gone to play at the park sometimes, but usually with a friend instead of with me.
When we moved to Utah, exercise became more a part of our lives. But I think I was thinking about developing the kids skills more than exercise. We (the kids) tried soccer. Marie tried one season, but she just couldn't run. She had never tried running for the first 10 years of her life. I think that you enjoy doing things that you started doing when you are young. Your body is just good at learning how to do new things when you are young. The other kids liked soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, and biking and I would go and watch.
When Marie was in high school, she courageously tried to run cross country. It was painful for me to watch her run and come in last. But I was so impressed by the whole team cheering her on as she finished her last lap. That was my first experience with the good that can come from being part of a team.
When Emily was in high school, she told me about her yoga class. She and Marie seemed to like it. She talked about "mindfulness". Now that sounded like something for me. Marie and Emily and Rick had all done quite a bit of yoga before I ever tried it.
I like yoga. There is no special clothing that is "right". I don't have to put on shorts and show my legs etc. I get to do it bare foot. Shoes have never suited me.
There are no balls to keep track of. Not only that, I am encouraged to do it with my eyes closed if I want to. I am encouraged to listen to my body and do what seems right for me. I think it is the ideal exercise because it gets my body moving strengthens my muscles and helps my flexibility. But the best thing about yoga for me is that there is No Competition.
Now, I am beginning to understand that exercise is any of the physical things that we do to help us feel good. When I try to run or do things that are too hard for me, I am punishing my body and I don't feel good. I hurt. And it is all in the name of keeping up.
I am supportive of anyone doing any physical activities that help them feel good. I realize that the reason people like to play sports is because it is fun for them and it helps them to feel good besides.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Who's Business
You know the cliche' "Mind your own business". I have decided that it is good advice. The difficult part is knowing what is your own business and what is someone elses business. I like the song by Michael McLean "Which Part Is Mine". The words say:
She was only a dairyman's daughter,
She was only a child of thirteen,
But the Stars on the radio
Brightened her nights with a dream.
So she called up her best girlfriend, Jenny,
'Cause she thought they would make quite a pair.
She said, "lets you and me try to sing
Harmony at the amateur night at the fair."
But she only had the range of an alto,
So the part she new best went to her friend.
And when Jenny's soprano drowned out the piano
They'd have to start over again.
And the dairyman's daughter would then say
"Which part is mine? and Jen Which part is yours?
Could you tell me one more time,
I'm never quite sure.
And I won't cross the line like I have before
So please help me learn which part is mine,
And which part is yours."
She grew up and got married to Bobby,
Kept him working on his MBA.
They had two little redheaded children
And one on the way.
Everybody said she could work wonders,
And she wondered what everyone meant,
She played so many rolls-- it was taking its toll--
And she feared that her time was misspent.
So she opened her heart to her husband
They discussed everything on her list
From the kids, to the job, to her feelings for her Bob,
But what it really boiled down to was this:
"Which part is mine? and, Bob, Which part is yours?
Let's review it one more time,
I guess I'm not sure.
And I won't cross the line like I have before,
If we'll just define which part is mine,
And which part is yours."
Every sleepless night knows many mothers,
Who are wond'ringif they've done all right.
And the dairyman's daughter
Knew more than a few of those nights.
Had she given her son too much freedom?
Had she smothered her two teenage girls?
Did she spoil them too much or not trust them enough
To prepare them for life in this world?
So she opened her heart to the heavens,
And she spoke of her children by name.
And the prayer that she prayed that her kids
Would be saved had a very familiar refrain:
She said "Lets review this again.
Which part is mine, God? Which part is yours?
Could you tell me one more time,
I'm never quite sure.
And I won't cross the line like I have before
But it gets so confusing sometimes.
Should I do more, or trust the Divine?
Please, just help me define which part's mine
And which part is yours.
"...
It's the answer that I've been longing for!
After I've done my best
I know you'll do the rest."
I have come to the conclusion that there are 3 kinds of business. My business, someone elses business, and God's business. It is sometimes hard in close relationships to know what is my business and what is theirs. But I think I know what God's business is. He is in the business of Miracles, Tender Mercies and taking our best and making it adequate.
So while we try to figure out which part is ours and which part is not ours, we can wait on God and watch for his tender mercies and miracles in our lives.
She was only a dairyman's daughter,
She was only a child of thirteen,
But the Stars on the radio
Brightened her nights with a dream.
So she called up her best girlfriend, Jenny,
'Cause she thought they would make quite a pair.
She said, "lets you and me try to sing
Harmony at the amateur night at the fair."
But she only had the range of an alto,
So the part she new best went to her friend.
And when Jenny's soprano drowned out the piano
They'd have to start over again.
And the dairyman's daughter would then say
"Which part is mine? and Jen Which part is yours?
Could you tell me one more time,
I'm never quite sure.
And I won't cross the line like I have before
So please help me learn which part is mine,
And which part is yours."
She grew up and got married to Bobby,
Kept him working on his MBA.
They had two little redheaded children
And one on the way.
Everybody said she could work wonders,
And she wondered what everyone meant,
She played so many rolls-- it was taking its toll--
And she feared that her time was misspent.
So she opened her heart to her husband
They discussed everything on her list
From the kids, to the job, to her feelings for her Bob,
But what it really boiled down to was this:
"Which part is mine? and, Bob, Which part is yours?
Let's review it one more time,
I guess I'm not sure.
And I won't cross the line like I have before,
If we'll just define which part is mine,
And which part is yours."
Every sleepless night knows many mothers,
Who are wond'ringif they've done all right.
And the dairyman's daughter
Knew more than a few of those nights.
Had she given her son too much freedom?
Had she smothered her two teenage girls?
Did she spoil them too much or not trust them enough
To prepare them for life in this world?
So she opened her heart to the heavens,
And she spoke of her children by name.
And the prayer that she prayed that her kids
Would be saved had a very familiar refrain:
She said "Lets review this again.
Which part is mine, God? Which part is yours?
Could you tell me one more time,
I'm never quite sure.
And I won't cross the line like I have before
But it gets so confusing sometimes.
Should I do more, or trust the Divine?
Please, just help me define which part's mine
And which part is yours.
"...
It's the answer that I've been longing for!
After I've done my best
I know you'll do the rest."
I have come to the conclusion that there are 3 kinds of business. My business, someone elses business, and God's business. It is sometimes hard in close relationships to know what is my business and what is theirs. But I think I know what God's business is. He is in the business of Miracles, Tender Mercies and taking our best and making it adequate.
So while we try to figure out which part is ours and which part is not ours, we can wait on God and watch for his tender mercies and miracles in our lives.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The Homeless Guy and his Dog
A couple of months ago, I saw a homeless man and his dog standing by a freeway entrance with a sign saying he needed food. I pondered the situation as I looked at the loyal dog who was completely dependent on his master to get him food. Of course, the dog could run away and fend for himself. Or he could wait with his master and hope that the master would provide food for both of them (which is what he was doing). I wondered how valuable the dogs loyalty and companionship was to the master. What percentage of donated food would the master not eat himself and instead give to the dog? And at what point would the master just send the dog away.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Out of Opposition
Last weekend I got the stomach flu. I was not surprised because I was the fifth or sixth one in the family to get it. I knew it only lasted 24 hours and I knew I would get through it fine. When I started feeling sick, I went to bed, delegated the responsibilities for meals to other people, and knew that other household work would wait until I could get back to face it.
After my 24 hours of sleeping and not eating, I felt very weak but better than the day before. I was 3 or 4 pounds lighter than I was the day before and I had a sense that I was also better off. Out of the 24 hour hardship I had endured, had come good. My body had "burned out" germs or toxins and I felt "purified" inside.
I always knew that all things in the world have opposites. But I had not really realized that not only is good opposite of bad, it can also come from bad. I started thinking of other examples:
Immunity to chicken pox (for example) comes from having the chicken pox.
Also, opposites (neither of which are good or bad) often come from each other:
An immature baby comes from a mature mother.
A woman becomes a mother from nurturing her baby.
Tallness comes from shortness.
Fatness comes from skinniness.
Strength comes from weakness.
Morning comes from night.
Renewed energy comes from tiredness and sleep.
After some form of death, comes a rebirth.
This realization changed my acceptance of opposites in life to an appreciation of the "negative" things in life. And because of that awareness, I will more likely look for the good that comes from the bad instead of dwelling on the bad in my life.
After my 24 hours of sleeping and not eating, I felt very weak but better than the day before. I was 3 or 4 pounds lighter than I was the day before and I had a sense that I was also better off. Out of the 24 hour hardship I had endured, had come good. My body had "burned out" germs or toxins and I felt "purified" inside.
I always knew that all things in the world have opposites. But I had not really realized that not only is good opposite of bad, it can also come from bad. I started thinking of other examples:
Immunity to chicken pox (for example) comes from having the chicken pox.
Also, opposites (neither of which are good or bad) often come from each other:
An immature baby comes from a mature mother.
A woman becomes a mother from nurturing her baby.
Tallness comes from shortness.
Fatness comes from skinniness.
Strength comes from weakness.
Morning comes from night.
Renewed energy comes from tiredness and sleep.
After some form of death, comes a rebirth.
This realization changed my acceptance of opposites in life to an appreciation of the "negative" things in life. And because of that awareness, I will more likely look for the good that comes from the bad instead of dwelling on the bad in my life.
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